


Don't Let Mum Know (a Weasley sibling groupchat)

by Noivoom



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bad Jokes, Canon Compliant, Fred Weasley Lives, Gen, Group chat, Mild Language, Percy is suffering, Post-Canon, Tags May Change, Um what else, because I said so, god formatting in ao3 is a nightmare, ignore the fact that wizards aren't supposed to have technology, more or less, other than that and Fred I try to stick to canon, save him, shhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:07:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24021055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noivoom/pseuds/Noivoom
Summary: Exactly what the title says it is.Post-canon, Fred's alive, Ginny's sassy and Percy's suffering.Not entirely sure If I'll continue it, but hey, group chats are funny, right?
Relationships: Fleur Delacour/Bill Weasley, Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Weasley siblings - Relationship
Comments: 3
Kudos: 73





	Don't Let Mum Know (a Weasley sibling groupchat)

**Author's Note:**

> I actually wrote this a while ago, but only just thought to post it. Not entirely sure if I'll continue it tbh- I just got inspiration and wrote it down for fun. I think it's funny, I just wanted to put it out there to hopefully entertain others :)  
> Also, please let me know about any formatting mistakes. Formatting this thing was HELL.

***FRED HAS ENTERED DON'T LET MUM KNOW***

**FRED:** !!! i forgot this existed!

**FRED:** @George dude we need to revive the groupchat

***GEORGE HAS ENTERED DON'T LET MUM KNOW***

**GEORGE:** wow when was the last time anyone was on here??

**FRED:** idk

**FRED:** like triwizard tornament year b4 everything went 2 shit?

**GEORGE:** bloody hell

**GEORGE:** before the war

**FRED:** when everything was simple

**GEORGE:** and our biggest worry was prof snape

**FRED:** k lets start operation revive this hellhole

**GEORGE:** @EVERYONE LETS GET THIS PARTY STARTED

***BILL, CHARLIE, PERCY AND RON HAVE ENTERED DON'T LET MUM KNOW***

**CHARLIE:** ITS BACK

**PERCY:** Oh Merlin no

**RON:** we havent used this chat in so long

**FRED:** your welcome

***BILL HAS ADDED GINNY TO DON'T LET MUM KNOW***

***GINNY HAS ENTERED DON'T LET MUM KNOW***

**GINNY:** OMG ITS ABOUT FUCKING TIME YOU LET ME IN

**BILL:** Yeah it's about time

**PERCY:** Why would you _want_ to be here?

**GINNY:** IVE BEEN WAITING YEARS

**GEORGE:** sry the chat kinda died tbh

**CHARLIE:** you were just a bit young for the kind of stuff in here

**GINNY:** bitch ron's only 1 year older than me and u let him in

**CHARLIE:** Good point

**BILL:** How has everyone been doing lately?

**FRED:** weve been good, just closed up shop 4 the day

**PERCY:** I'm just fine.

**RON:** ive been trying to stop hermione from overworking herself. again.

**GEORGE:** does that woman ever stop working??

**GINNY:** Lol apparantly not.

**GINNY:** I'm fine too btw, just a bit bored. Quidditch seasons off :(

**CHARLIE:** Big rip

**CHARLIE:** A clutch of eggs just hatched, so its chaos over here

**GINNY:** bABY DRAGONS

**CHARLIE:** IKR THEYR SO CUTE

**CHARLIE:** *It's a picture of three baby dragons. Two of them are little more than blurs as they play fight each other, and the third is sitting like a dog, a singed and torn up piece of _something_ in its mouth. Charlie's hand is also in frame, making a rock'n'roll symbol. The third baby dragon is eyeing his hand with intense interest.*

**CHARLIE:** MY BABIES

**GINNY:** ASDFG-

**FRED:** aww

**RON:** charlie i think one of them wants to eat your hand

**CHARLIE:** Nah its all g

**PERCY:** Only you could call those little monsters your babies.

**CHARLIE:** exCUSE ME VIPER, SCARLET AND PUFF ARE ANGELS!

**BILL:** 'Puff'?

**CHARLIE:** Idk I didn't name him

**GEORGE:** guys wait were missing someone!

**PERCY:** We're all here though?

**RON:** yeah what are you talking about dude

**FRED:** OH I GET U

**GINNY:** Who?? Are we missing???

**GEORGE:** HARRY

**RON:** OH

**BILL:** Yes! He's been part of the family for a while now, might as well make it official

**PERCY:** Being part of this chat is what makes you an official Weasley sibling?

**BILL:** Yes.

**GINNY:** Yes

**FRED:** yes

**GEORGE:** yes

**RON:** YES

**CHARLIE:** Yes

**PERCY:** ... Okay.

**GINNY:** BILL ADD HIM ALREADY

***BILL HAS ADDED HARRY TO DON'T LET MUM KNOW***

**FRED:** WOOO

**GEORGE:** WOOO

***HARRY HAS ENTERED DON'T LET MUM KNOW***

**RON:** HELL YEAH HARRYS HERE

**HARRY:** You guys have a group chat?

**GINNY:** Of course we do!

**CHARLIE:** Been a while, harry!

**HARRY:** Yeah, I haven't talked to you or Bill in like a year

**FRED:** welcome to hell, mate

**GEORGE:** enjoy your stay

**FRED:** ur officially one of us now

**GEORGE:** wether u like it or not

**HARRY:** ... Should I be scared?

**PERCY:** It's Fred and George. Of course you should be scared.

**BILL:** Don't worry, it's not that bad

**PERCY:** Yes it is.

**RON:** expect to be waken up at like 3am tho

**FRED:** wait a minute i have a question

**BILL:** Yeah?

**FRED:** y are we still using our actual names

**GEORGE:** i agree this boring

**PERCY:** Oh no

**CHARLIE:** oh yeah

**PERCY:** NO

**GINNY:** Just give up Percy it's not worth it

***FRED HAS CHANGED THEIR NAME TO FORGE***   
***GEORGE HAS CHANGED THEIR NAME TO GRED***

**RON:** IT WAS HARD ENOUGH TO TELL WHO WAS WHO BEFORE YOU DONT NEED TO ASDFGH-

**HARRY:** I've only been here for five minutes and it's already a disaster

**BILL:** You get used to it

**GRED:** cmon guys join the bandwagon

**FORGE:** waitwaitwait idea

**FORGE:** in honor of harrys best excuse ever

***FORGE HAS CHANGED RON'S NAME TO ROONILWAZLIB***

**ROONILWAZLIB:** wait what

**HARRY:** ?! HOW do you even know about that?!

**BILL:** Wait i'm confused, where does that come from?

**PERCY:** Thank Merlin, I'm not the only one confused for once!

**HARRY:** long story, don't ask

**GINNY:** Wait since we're changing names and all

**GINNY:** Bill make me an admin pls

***BILL HAS UPDATED GINNY'S STATUS TO ADMIN***

**GINNY:** thx

**GINNY:** Charlie u remember that show right. With the mother of dragons lady

**CHARLIE:** ? Of course?

***GINNY HAS CHANGED CHARLIE'S NAME TO MALEDANAERYS***

**MALEDANAERYS:** Nice

**MALEDANAERYS:** Oh what about

***MALEDANAERYS HAS CHANGED GINNY'S NAME TO SHE'LLPUNCHYOUINTHEFACE***

**SHE'LLPUNCHYOUINTHEFACE:** always loved that meme

**PERCY:** You're all children

***GRED HAS CHANGED PERCY'S NAME TO HUMUNGOUSBIGHEAD***

**HUMUNGOUSBIGHEAD:** You're seriously going to bring that back AGAIN?!

**BILL:** That's it I'm banning you two from ever being admins

**FORGE:** noooooooooooo

**GRED:** awwwwww no fun

***SHE'LLPUNCHYOUINTHEFACE HAS CHANGED HARRY'S NAME TO THECHOSENONE***

**SHE'LLPUNCHYOUINTHEFACE:** Everyone make way for The Chosen One; slayer of he-who-has-no-nose

**FORGE:** he-who-has-the-ugliest-face

**GRED:** 'i am lord voldemort' was an anagram of his actual name right?

**GRED:** how convenient that he made it spell 'i am lord voldemort' when it obviously should have been 'mr tom, a dildo lover'

**THECHOSENONE:** holy-

**SHE'LLPUNCHYOUINTHEFACE:** brb laughing too hard

**MALEDANAERYS:** I CANT BREATEH

**GRED:** i can hear fred from the upstairs,,, i think hes dying

**BILL:** That... is actually hilarious, thank you

**ROONILWAZLIB:** A DILDO LOVER BLOODY HELL

**HUMUNGOUSBIGHEAD:** Should we be making fun of him like this?

**FORGE:** wjats he goig to do? thrrow a gost didlo at us????

**BILL:** didlo

**ROONILWAZLIB:** the guys dead its fine

**SHE'LLPUNCHYOUINTHEFACE:** tbh he deserves a lot more than us making fun of him

**GRED:** its more the fact we can make fun of him and get away with it really

**HUMUNGOUSBIGHEAD:** Fair enough, but I seem to remember a certain product of yours that made fun of him during the _height of his reign_

**FORGE:** come on u no poo was funny

**BILL:** I'm actually surprised you two got away with that one to be honest

**GRED:** so are we

**MALEDANAERYS:** GUYS WAIT

**MALEDANAERYS:** we haven't got a name for bill yet!

**BILL:** Oh no I was hoping you'd forget

**MALEDANAERYS:** YOU'RE NOT GETTING OUT OF IT THAT EASY, SUCKER

***MALEDANAERYS HAS CHANGED BILL'S NAME TO WILLIAM***

**WILLIAM:** Charlie I trusted you

**MALEDANAERYS:** What do you want your name to be then

**WILLIAM:** Just don't call me William!

**MALEDANAERYS:** ok

***MALEDANAERYS HAD CHANGED WILLIAM'S NAME TO DON'TCALLMEWILLIAM***

***DON'TCALLMEWILLIAM HAS LEFT DON'T LET MUM KNOW***

**SHE'LLPUNCHYOUINTHEFACE:** XD

**FORGE:** omfg dying

**MALEDANAERYS:** noooooooooo come back

**MALEDANAERYS:** I didnt mean iiiiiiitttt

**ROONILWAZLIB:** yes he did

**THECHOSENONE:** tbh I thought Percy would be driven out first, not Bill

**HUMUNGOUSBIGHEAD:** HARRY NO NOW THEY'RE NOT GOING TO STOP BUGGING ME

**GRED:** oh were gona do alot wors than bug u

**THECHOSENONE:** Oops. Sorry Percy.

**FORGE:** nono dont apologise thx 4 reminding us

**MALEDANAERYS:** k percy ur record it 3 minutes

**SHE'LLPUNCHYOUINTHEFACE:** lets sea if u kan suvive longer

**HUMUNGOUSBIGHEAD:** Please stop. All of you.

**GRED:** well stop wen were ded

**FORGE:** or wen u becom 1 of us

**HUMUNGOUSBIGHEAD:** I'll never stoop that low.

**FORGE:** wen were ded than

**THECHOSENONE:** I'm just imagining my aunt and uncle seeing all of this

**ROONILWAZLIB:** oh ye theyd lose it

**THECHOSENONE:** They'd die on the spot

**SHE'LLPUNCHYOUINTHEFACE:** *Obama 'then perish' meme*

**GRED:** pecry can u burn an oogie bored

**HUMUNGOUSBIGHEAD:** NO DON'T BRING BACK THOSE CURSED OUIJA BOARD QUESTIONS.

**MALEDANAERYS:** '5 moths pregananant?'

**FORGE:** r luigi bords reel

**SHE'LLPUNCHYOUINTHEFACE:** If a women has starch masks on her body, does that meen shes been pargnat bfore?

**ROONILWAZLIB:** can u get... pregante?

**THECHOSENONE:** y'all'd've

**HUMUNGOUSBIGNHEAD:** I hate every single one of you.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah like I said up top, I probably won't end up continuing this, but who knows? Feel free to comment any ideas, I'd love to hear them! (that's half my problem tbh- I wanna write, but I don't have any ideas. rip me)


End file.
